Art Matters Read online

  FIRST OF ALL:

  WHEN YOU START OUT ON A CAREER IN THE ARTS

  YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

  THAT IS GREAT.

  PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING

  KNOW THE RULES, AND KNOW WHAT IS

  POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE.

  YOU DO NOT.

  AND YOU SHOULD NOT.

  THE RULES ON WHAT IS POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE IN

  THE ARTS WERE MADE BY PEOPLE WHO HAD NOT

  TESTED THE BOUNDS OF THE POSSIBLE BY GOING BEYOND

  THEM.

  AND YOU CAN.

  IF YOU DON’T KNOW IT’S IMPOSSIBLE

  IT’S EASIER TO DO.

  AND BECAUSE NOBODY’S DONE IT BEFORE,

  THEY HAVEN’T MADE UP RULES TO STOP

  ANYONE DOING THAT AGAIN,

  YET.

  SECONDLY:

  IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT YOU WANT

  TO MAKE, WHAT, YOU WERE PUT HERE TO DO,

  THEN JUST GO AND DO THAT.

  AND THAT’S MUCH HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS AND,

  SOMETIMES IN THE END,

  SO MUCH EASIER THAN YOU MIGHT IMAGINE.

  BECAUSE NORMALLY, THERE ARE THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO

  BEFORE YOU CAN GET TO THE PLACE YOU WANT TO BE.

  I WANTED TO WRITE COMICS AND NOVELS AND

  STORIES AND FILMS SO I BECAME A JOURNALIST

  BECAUSE JOURNALISTS ARE ALLOWED TO ASK

  QUESTIONS, AND TO SIMPLY GO AND FIND OUT HOW

  THE WORLD WORKS, AND BESIDES, TO DO THOSE

  THINGS I NEEDED TO WRITE AND TO WRITE WELL,

  AND I WAS BEING PAID TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE

  ECONOMICALLY, CRISPLY, SOMETIMES UNDER ADVERSE

  CONDITIONS, AND ON TIME.

  SOMETIMES THE WAY TO DO WHAT YOU HOPE

  TO DO WILL BE CLEAR CUT, AND SOMETIMES

  IT WILL BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIDE

  WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE DOING THE CORRECT

  THING, BECAUSE YOU’LL HAVE TO BALANCE

  YOUR GOALS AND HOPES WITH

  FEEDING YOURSELF, PAYING DEBTS, FINDING WORK,

  SETTLING FOR WHAT YOU CAN GET.

  SOMETHING THAT WORKED FOR ME WAS

  IMAGINING THAT WHERE I WANTED TO BE

  (AN AUTHOR, PRIMARILY OF FICTION, MAKING GOOD BOOKS,

  MAKING GOOD COMICS, AND SUPPORTING MYSELF

  THROUGH MY WORDS)

  WAS A MOUNTAIN.

  A DISTANT MOUNTAIN.

  MY GOAL.

  AND I KNEW THAT AS LONG AS I KEPT WALKING

  TOWARDS THE MOUNTAIN I WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.

  AND WHEN I TRULY WAS NOT SURE WHAT TO DO,

  I COULD STOP, AND THINK ABOUT WHETHER

  IT WAS TAKING ME TOWARDS OR AWAY FROM

  THE MOUNTAIN.

  I SAID NO TO EDITORIAL JOBS ON MAGAZINES, PROPER JOBS

  THAT WOULD HAVE PAID PROPER MONEY, BECAUSE I KNEW

  THAT, ATTRACTIVE THOUGH THEY WERE, FOR ME THEY

  WOULD HAVE BEEN WALKING AWAY FROM

  THE MOUNTAIN.

  AND IF THOSE JOB OFFERS HAD COME ALONG EARLIER I

  MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THEM, BECAUSE THEY STILL WOULD

  HAVE BEEN CLOSER TO THE MOUNTAIN

  THAN I WAS AT THE TIME.

  I LEARNED TO WRITE BY WRITING.

  I TENDED TO DO ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT FELT

  LIKE AN ADVENTURE, AND TO

  STOP WHEN IT FELT LIKE

  WORK,

  WHICH MEANT LIFE DID NOT FEEL

  LIKE WORK.

  THIRDLY: WHEN YOU START OFF, YOU HAVE TO DEAL

  WITH THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE.

  YOU NEED TO BE THICK - SKINNED,

  TO LEARN THAT NOT EVERY PROJECT WILL SURVIVE.

  A FREELANCE LIFE, A LIFE IN THE ARTS, IS SOMETIMES

  LIKE PUTTING MESSAGES IN BOTTLES, ON A

  DESERT ISLAND,

  AND HOPING THAT SOMEONE WILL FIND ONE OF YOUR

  BOTTLES AND OPEN IT AND READ IT, AND PUT SOMETHING

  IN A BOTTLE THAT WILL WASH ITS WAY BACK TO YOU:

  APPRECIATION, OR A COMMISSION, OR MONEY, OR

  LOVE.

  AND YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT YOU MAY PUT OUT

  A HUNDRED THINGS FOR EVERY BOTTLE THAT WINDS

  UP COMING BACK.

  THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE ARE

  PROBLEMS OF DISCOURAGEMENT,

  OF HOPELESSNESS,

  OF HUNGER.

  YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN

  AND YOU WANT IT NOW,

  AND THINGS GO

  WRONG.

  MY FIRST BOOK - A PIECE OF JOURNALISM I HAD DONE FOR

  THE MONEY. AND WHICH HAD ALREADY BOUGHT ME AN

  ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER FROM THE ADVANCE - SHOULD

  HAVE BEEN A BESTSELLER. IT SHOULD HAVE

  PAID ME A LOT OF MONEY. IF THE PUBLISHER HADN’T

  GONE INTO INVOLUNTARY LIQUIDATION BETWEEN THE

  FIRST PRINT RUN SELLING OUT AND THE SECOND PRINTING,

  AND BEFORE ANY ROYALTIES COULD BE PAID, IT

  WOULD HAVE DONE.

  AND I SHRUGGED,

  AND I SHRUGGED, AND I STILL HAD MY ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER AND ENOUGH

  MONEY TO PAY THE RENT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, AND

  I DECIDED THAT I WOULD DO MY BEST IN FUTURE

  NOT TO WRITE BOOKS JUST FOR THE MONEY.

  IF YOU DIDN’T GET THE MONEY, THEN YOU DIDN’T

  HAVE ANYTHING. IF I DID WORK I WAS PROUD OF,

  AND I DIDN’T GET THE MONEY,

  AT LEAST I’D HAVE THE WORK.

  EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, I FORGET THAT RULE,

  AND WHENEVER I DO, THE UNIVERSE KICKS ME

  HARD AND REMINDS ME.

  I DON’T KNOW THAT’ IT’S AN ISSUE FOR ANYBODY BUT ME,

  BUT IT’S TRUE THAT

  NOTHING I DID WHERE THE ONLY REASON FOR

  DOING IT WAS THE MONEY WAS EVER

  WORTH IT,

  EXPECT AS BITTER EXPERIENCE.

  USUALLY I DIDN’T WIND UP GETTING THE MONEY, EITHER.

  THE THINGS I DID BECAUSE I WAS EXCITED,

  AND WANTED TO SEE THEM EXIST IN REALITY,

  HAVE NEVER LET ME DOWN, AND I’VE

  NEVER REGRETTED THE TIME I SPENT

  ON ANY OF

  THEM.

  THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE ARE HARD.

  THE PROBLEMS OF SUCCESS CAN BE HARDER

  BECAUSE NOBODY WARNS YOU ABOUT

  THEM.

  THE FIRST PROBLEM OF ANY KIND OF EVEN LIMITED SUCCESS

  IS THE UNSHAKABLE CONVICTION THAT YOU ARE

  GETTING AWAY WITH SOMETHING,

  AND THAT ANY MOMENT NOW

  THEY WILL DISCOVER YOU.

  IT’S IMPOSTER SYNDROME, SOMETHING MY WIFE,

  AMANDA, CHRISTENED THE FRAUD POLICE.

  IN MY CASE, I WAS CONVINCED THAT THERE WOULD

  BE A KNOCK ON THE DOOR, AND A MAN WITH A CLIPBOARD

  (I DON’T KNOW WHY HE CARRIED A CLIPBOARD, IN MY HEAD, BUT HE DID)

  WOULD BE THERE, TO TELL ME IT WAS ALL OVER,

  AND THEY HAD CAUGHT UP WITH ME, AND NOW I WOULD

  HAVE TO GO AND GET A REAL JOB, ONE THAT DIDN’T

  CONSIST OF MAKING THINGS UP AND WRITING THEM

  DOWN, AND READING BOOKS I WANTED TO READ.

  AND THEN I WOULD GO AWAY QUIETLY AND GET THE

  KIND OF JOB WHERE YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE THINGS

  UP ANYMORE.

  THE PROBLEMS OF SUCCESS.

  THEY’RE REAL, AND WITH LUCK YOU’LL EXPERIENCE

  THEM. THE POINT WHERE YOU STOP SAYING YES

  TO EVERYTHING, BECAUSE NOW THE BOTTLES YOU

  THREW IN THE OCEAN ARE ALL COMING BACK,

  AND HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO.

  I WATCHED MY PEERS, AND MY FRIENDS, AND THE ONES WHO

  WERE OLDER THAN ME AND WATCHED HOW MISERABLE SOME

  OF THEM WERE: I’D LISTEN TO THEM TELLING ME THAT THEY

  COULDN’T ENVISAGE A WORLD WHERE THEY DID WHAT THEY HAD

  ALWAYS WANTED TO DO ANYMORE, BECAUSE
NOW THEY HAD TO EARN

  A CERTAIN AMOUNT EVERY MONTH JUST TO KEEP WHERE THEY

  WERE. THEY COULDN’T GO AND DO THE THINGS THAT MATTERED,

  AND THAT THEY HAD REALLY WANTED TO DO; AND THAT

  SEEMED AS BIG A TRAGEDY AS ANY PROBLEM OF FAILURE.

  AND AFTER THAT, THE BIGGEST PROBLEM OF SUCCESS

  IS THAT THE WORLD CONSPIRES TO STOP YOU DOING THE

  THING THAT YOU DO, BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL.

  THERE WAS A DAY WHEN I LOOKED UP AND

  REALISED THAT I HAD BECOME SOMEONE WHO

  PROFESSIONALLY REPLIED TO EMAIL, AND WHO

  WROTE AS A HOBBY.

  I STARTED ANSWERING FEWER EMAILS, AND WAS

  RELIEVED TO FIND I WAS WRITING MUCH MORE.

  FOURTHLY: IF YOU’RE MAKING MISTAKES, IT MEANS

  YOU’RE OUT THERE DOING SOMETHING.

  AND THE MISTAKES IN THEMSELVES CAN BE USEFUL.

  I ONCED MISSPELLED CAROLINE, IN A LETTER,

  TRANSPOSING THE A AND THE O, AND I THOUGHT

  ‘CORALINE LOOKS LIKE A REAL NAME. . .’

  AND REMEMBER THAT WHATEVER DISCIPLINE YOU ARE IN,

  WHETHER YOU ARE A

  MUSICIAN OR A PHOTOGRAPHER, A FINE ARTIST OR A

  CARTOONIST, A WRITER, A DANCER, A DESIGNER,

  WHATEVER YOU DO,

  YOU HAVE ONE THING THAT’S UNIQUE

  YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO

  MAKE ART.

  AND FOR ME, AND FOR SO MANY OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE

  KNOWN, THAT’S BEEN A LIFESAVER.

  THE ULTIMATE LIFESAVER.

  IT GETS YOU THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND IT GETS YOU

  THROUGH THE OTHER ONES.

  LIFE IS SOMETIMES HARD.

  THINGS GO WRONG, IN LIFE AND IN LOVE

  AND IN BUSINESS AND IN FRIENDSHIP

  AND IN HEALTH AND IN

  ALL THE OTHER WAYS THAT

  LIFE CAN GO WRONG.

  AND WHEN THINGS GET TOUCH,

  THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. . .

  MAKE

  GOOD

  ART.

  I’M SERIOUS.

  HUSBAND RUNS OFF WITH A POLITICIAN?

  MAKE GOOD ART.

  LEG CRUSHED AND THEN EATEN BY

  MUTATED BOA CONSTRICTOR?

  MAKE GOOD ART.

  I RS ON YOUR TRAIL?

  MAKE GOOD ART.

  CAT EXPLODED?

  MAKE GOOD ART.

  SOMEBODY ON THE INTERNET THINKS

  WHAT YOU DO IS STUPID OR EVIL OR

  IT’S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE?

  MAKE GOOD ART.

  PROBABLY THINGS WILL WORK OUT SOME HOW,

  AND EVENTUALLY TIME WILL TAKE THE

  STING AWAY, BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER.

  DO WHAT ONLY YOU DO BEST.

  MAKE GOOD ART.

  MAKE IT ON THE GOOD

  DAYS TOO.

  AND FIFTHLY,

  WHILE YOU’RE AT IT,

  MAKE YOUR ART.

  DO THE STUFF THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO.

  THE URGE, STARTING OUT, IS TO COPY. AND THAT’S NOT A

  BAD THING. MOST OF US ONLY FIND OUR OWN VOICES AFTER

  WE’VE SOUNDED LIKE A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

  BUT THE ONE THING THAT YOU HAVE

  THAT NOBODY ELSE HAS IS

  YOU.

  YOUR VOICE, YOUR MIND, YOUR STORY, YOUR VISION.

  SO WRITE AND DRAW AND BUILD AND PLAY

  AND DANCE AND LIVE AS ONLY

  YOU CAN.

  THE MOMENT THAT YOU FEEL THAT, JUST POSSIBLY,

  YOU’RE WALKING DOWN THE STREET NAKED,

  EXPOSING TOO MUCH OF YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND

  AND WHAT EXISTS ON THE INSIDE, SHOWING

  TOO MUCH OF YOURSELF.

  THAT’S THE MOMENT YOU MAY BE

  STARTING TO GET IT RIGHT.

  THE THINGS I’VE DONE THAT WORKED THE BEST WERE THE

  THINGS I WAS THE LEAST CERTAIN ABOUT, THE STORIES

  WHERE I WAS SURE THEY WOULD EITHER WORK, OF MORE

  LIKELY BE THE KINDS OF EMBARRASSING FAILURES

  PEOPLE WOULD GATHER TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT

  UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

  THEY ALWAYS HAD THAT IN COMMON:

  LOOKING BACK AT THEM, PEOPLE EXPLAIN WHY THEY WERE

  INEVITABLE SUCCESSES. WHILE I WAS DOING THEM,

  I HAD NO IDEA.

  I STILL DON’T.

  AND WHERE WOULD BE THE FUN IN MAKING

  SOMETHING YOU KNEW WAS

  GOING TO WORK?

  AND SOMETIMES THE THINGS I DID

  REALLY DIDN’T WORK.

  THERE ARE STORIES OF MINE THAT HAVE NEVER

  BEEN REPRINTED. SOME OF THEM NEVER EVEN

  LEFT THE HOUSE.

  BUT I LEARNED AS MUCH FROM THEM

  AS I DID FROM THE THINGS THAT

  WORKED.

  SIXTHLY:

  I WILL PASS ON SOME SECRET FREELANCER KNOWLEDGE.

  SECRET KNOWLEDGE IS ALWAYS GOOD.

  AND IT IS USEFUL FOR ANYONE WHO EVER PLANS TO CREATE ART

  FOR OTHER PEOPLE, TO ENTER A FREELANCE WORD OF ANY KIND.

  I LEARNED IT IN COMICS, BUT IT APPLIES TO OTHER FIELDS, AND

  IT’S THIS:

  PEOPLE GET HIRED BECAUSE, SOMEHOW, THEY GET HIRED.

  IN MY CASE I DID SOMETHING WHICH THESE DAYS WOULD BE EASY

  TO CHECK, AND WOULD GET ME INTO TROUBLE, AND WHEN I STARTED

  OUT, IN THOSE PRE-INTERNET DAYS, SEEMED LIKE A SENSIBLE

  CAREER STRATEGY: WHEN I WAS ASKED BY EDITORS WHO I’D

  WORKED FOR, I LIED. I LISTED A HANDFUL OF MAGAZINES

  THAT SOUNDED LIKELY, AND I SOUNDED CONFIDENT, AND I GOT

  JOBS. I THEN MADE IT A POINT OF HONOUR TO HAVE WRITTEN

  FOR EACH OF THE MAGAZINES I’D LISTED TO GET THAT FIRST

  JOBS, SO THAT I HADN’T ACTUALLY LIED,

  I’D JUST BEEN CHRONOLOGICALLY

  CHALLENGED . . .

  YOU GET WORK HOWEVER YOU GET

  WORK.

  PEOPLE KEEP WORKING, IN A FREELANCE WORLD,

  AND MORE AND MORE OF TODAY’S WORLD IS FREELANCE,

  BECAUSE

  1. THEIR WORK IS GOOD.

  AND 2. BECAUSE THEY ARE EASY TO

  GET ALONG WITH.

  AND 3. BECAUSE THEY DELIVER THE

  WORK ON TIME.

  AND YOU DON’T EVEN NEED ALL THREE. TWO OUT OF

  THREE IS FINE.

  PEOPLE WILL TOLERATE HOW UNPLEASANT YOU ARE

  IF YOUR WORK IS GOOD

  AND

  YOUR DELIVER IT ON TIME.

  THEY’LL FORGIVE THE LATENESS OF THE WORK

  IF IT’S GOOD,

  AND

  IF THEY LIKE YOU.

  AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS

  IF YOU’RE ON TIME

  AND

  IT’S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

  I STARTED TRYING TO THINK WHAT THE BEST ADVICE

  I’D BEEN GIVEN OVER THE YEARS WAS.

  AND IT CAME FROM

  STEPHEN KING

  TWENTY YEARS AGO, AT THE HEIGHT OF THE SUCCESS OF

  SANDMAN.

  I WAS WRITING A COMIC THAT PEOPLE LOVED AND WERE TAKING

  SERIOUSLY. KING LIKED SANDMAN AND MY NOVEL WITH TERRY

  PRATCHETT, GOOD OMENS, AND HE SAW THE MADNESS, THE

  LONG SIGNING LINES, ALL THAT, AND HIS ADVICE WAS THIS:

  ‘THIS IS REALLY GREAT. YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.’

  AND I DIDN’T.

  BEST ADVICE I GOT THAT I IGNORED. INSTEAD I

  WORRIED ABOUT IT. I WORRIED ABOUT THE NEXT DEADLINE,

  THE NEXT IDEA, THE NEXT STORY. THERE WASN’T A

  MOMENT FOR THE NEXT FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN YEARS THAT

  I WASN’T WRITING SOMETHING IN MY HEAD, OR WONDERING

  ABOUT IT. AND I DIDN’T STOP AND LOOK AROUND AND GO,

  THIS IS REALLY FUN.

  I WISH I’D ENJOYED IT MORE. IT’S BEEN AN AMAZING RIDE.

  BUT THERE WERE PARTS OF THE RIDE I MISSED, BECAU
SE

  I WAS TOO WORRIED ABOUT THINGS

  GOING WRONG, ABOUT WHAT CAME NEXT,

  TO ENJOY THE BIT I WAS ON.

  THAT WAS THE HARDEST LESSON FOR ME,

  I THINK:

  TO LET GO AND ENJOY

  THE RIDE, BECAUSE THE

  RIDE TAKES YOU TO SOME REMARKABLE

  AND UNEXPECTED

  PLACES.

  I WISH YOU LUCK.

  LUCK IS USEFUL.

  OFTEN YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT THE HARDER YOU WORK,

  AND THE MORE WISELY YOU WORK,

  THE LUCKIER YOU GET.

  BUT THERE IS LUCK, AND IT HELPS.

  WE’RE IN A TRANSITIONAL WORLD RIGHT NOW, IF YOU’RE IN ANY

  KIND OF ARTISTIC FIELD, BECAUSE THE NATURE OF

  DISTRIBUTION IS CHANGING, THE MODELS BY WHICH CREATORS

  GOT THEIR WORK OUT INTO THE WORLD, AND GOT TO KEEP

  A ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS AND BUY SANDWICHES WHILE THEY

  DID THAT, ARE ALL CHANGING.

  I’VE TALKED TO PEOPLE AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN

  IN PUBLISHING, IN BOOKSELLING, IN ALL THOSE AREAS,

  AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE LANDSCAPE WILL

  LOOK LIKE TWO YEARS FROM NOW, LET ALONE A

  DECADE AWAY.

  THE DISTRIBUTION CHANNELS THAT PEOPLE HAD BUILT OVER THE

  LAST CENTURY OR SO ARE IN FLUX

  FOR PRINT, FOR VISUAL ARTISTS, FOR MUSICIANS,

  FOR CREATIVE PEOPLE OF ALL KINGS.

  WHICH IS, ON ONE HAND, INTIMIDATING, AND ON THE OTHER,

  IMMENSELY LIBERATING.

  THE RULES,